I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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