you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
