The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
