and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize