I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
where am i from again
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
