you turned your livingroom into a bong?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
