i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
