I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Girls should come with a carfax report
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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