So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
where does the pee come out of this thing
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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