Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
