I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
