i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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