I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
