Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
