Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
why is half of my head shaved?
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