I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
