i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
