honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
