I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
