You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
