Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
