I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
