the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
