do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
bring money and cleavage
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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