So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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