don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
