I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize