had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
