I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
