I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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