Im at strip club and am horny
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize