I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
