Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
