used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
