i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
