I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize