Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
