Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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