just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize