Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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