The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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