so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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