Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
