I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize