she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
