the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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