Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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