trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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