Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
