I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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