Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize