"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
