Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
