He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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