The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
