i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
