Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
