i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
