I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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