You work out of a Hotel?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
