I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
